Thursday, September 29, 2011


tyler and i have had very little quality time together the closer it gets to the wedding. i've enlisted him to help me some with DIY projects, i'm working full-time, and he's working part-time and in school. i'm aware that our limited free time will also present its challenges when we are finally married (in TWO DAYS), but we'll make it work.

the other night, we were having dinner together, and we started talking about our expectations of marriage. some were funny, and some were silly. others were as disturbing as they were hilarious. and i am going to share one of them with you, because it made me laugh so hard. but first... a segway...

the definition of "assault" has baffled me since i entered the legal world, especially in tennessee law when battery (i.e., physical injury) and assault (i.e., fear of physical injury) are looped together under the term "assault". why i lay that groundwork is because the following conversation could legally be considered "assault" under tennessee law. but for that to stick, i would have to be in fear of actually receiving physical harm. but i didn't. instead, i laughed.

everyone should know that tyler and i have the kind of relationship where we are both really sarcastic, and we are both really possessive of each other. not in a bad way. just in a "you are mine and nobody else's" kind of way - which i think is a very healthy way to enter into a marriage.

and now - the funny part...

we were talking about cheating and divorce. and how both of those will NEVER happen in our relationship. here is how the conversation went. i think i've got the quotes right, but even if they aren't exact, it was pretty close...

me: "there's only one way out of this marriage."
tyler: "yep. death."
me: "exactly. and if you ever cheat on me, that way out becomes a lot more clearly defined... and a lot more violent."
tyler: "yep."
me: "i'm not kidding."
tyler: "me neither."
me: "like... if you cheat on me, i will stab you. repeatedly."
tyler: "well, if you cheat on me, i will shoot you. then whatever is left of you will be mounted and i will put you on my wall. then, you will forever be my trophy wife."

I CRACKED UP! i think it's funny, because some people would hear that conversation and see two violent, possessive, crazy people. i look at it and see love. warped, i know. now, would i ACTUALLY stab tyler? and would tyler ACTUALLY shoot me? luckily, we're making vows to each other that include forsaking all others. so we never have to know. :)



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