here comes the bride! big, fat, and wide! err.... WHAT?!

it's funny how when the amazement of this little shiny thing on my left hand set in, a flurry of self-doubt set in too. i've never had a single doubt in my relationship, but my self-esteem took a major plummet. now, how much sense does that make?! i've found a man who loves me so much and thinks i am so beautiful... beautiful enough, in fact, that he wants to spend the rest of his life with me. however, the thought of roughly 300 pairs of eyes on me in a fitted white dress makes me have a near panic attack. i was TERRIFIED when i went shopping for my dress. excited, yes, but mainly terrified. i, like every other girl that dreams of wedded bliss, am obsessed with wedding shows, like "say yes to the dress". the girls on there are all so skinny! my initial thought was that i am going to look like a huge cupcake or, worse, the michelin man. however, stephanie at monica's was a God-send! she put me in a dress that made me feel like a total babe! i didn't choose a dress that i would only look good in given i lose weight. i chose one that looks good NOW and will look even better as i trim down before the big day. but more on the dress later...

i'm in my last year of law school. STRESS CENTRAL! dieting and exercise have been on the agenda for a good while, but i've never had the motivation that i have now! big white dress. photographers at every angle. videographers too. engagement pics. bridal pics. there are plenty of events for which i need to look my best. and, let's not forget, the tropical honeymoon. tyler deserves a hot bride. so i have a plan...

i'm not going to stress out or make unrealistic goals for myself. in fact, i'm not making pound-related or size-related goals at all. (SHOCK!) my goal, however, is to be healthy and look good and feel comfortable in my own skin. my wedding dress is a 14. there's no shame in being a size 14! i have no desire to be a size 2... or a 4... or a 6 for that matter. i just want to feel amazing and look amazing on my day. that being said... i am taking efforts to improve my health and well-being, and the weight loss is a plus.

i've started the weight watchers plan. it's super easy to follow and i found everything i need to follow the program online - for free! i also downloaded some apps on my droid which enable me to follow WW while on the go! i don't really see it as a diet, because i'm not depriving myself. i'm just learning healthy alternatives, making smart food choices, and portion control. so far, so good! and i allow cheat days. for me, a diet without cheat days is like law school without skip days. not gonna happen.

i also bought an elliptical machine which is in my house. i know myself well enough to know that having a gym membership won't get me to a gym. therefore, i brought the gym to myself, leaving me no excuse! i find that when i get stressed out doing school work, a few minutes on the elliptical does me a world of good.

i also just bought a package at pure barre - chattanooga for me and my MOH1, kendal. we are gonna have a great time getting fit and bonding at the same time! i can't wait!

in addition to that, i've started taking supplements. nothing dangerous! i'm taking fish oil, green tea extract, and b-complex. tyler recommended them to me, actually. they all speed up the metabolism and ensure that your body gets a supply of the good fats that it needs!

so... when i walk down the aisle, i know that the "ah"s that i hear will not be of disgust, because i will be more confident, happier, and healthier than i've ever been!

operation "i will not be a fat bride" is going strong. 333 days to go until the big day!!!

fin.